Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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