so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
