so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
i out mim tonsoeep
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
