i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize