somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
