You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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