Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
