i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
