I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
