Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
