if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Randomize
