His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Randomize
