Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
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