Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
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