I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
