She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
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if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
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I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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