I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
