Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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