yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Randomize
