direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize