i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
