i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
