i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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