If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Watching her eat just hurts me
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize