I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
