sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize