Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
