he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Randomize
