just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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