You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
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