found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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