please come you make the beer taste better
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Randomize
