yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Randomize
