i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
