WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
