So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
where are you?
Hypothermia
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
