so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
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We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
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Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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