hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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