FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Can't talk, ducks in the car
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
