Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
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