the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
The power of my boobs compel you
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
