Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Randomize
