no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
