just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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