Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Pants are for mortals
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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