what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I pour the whiskey from now on
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
