her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Randomize
