Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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