The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
