Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Randomize
