I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize