handjob tips. give me some.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
