Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Randomize
