OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
You ate ashes out of my bong
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
