Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Randomize
