Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Randomize
