Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
