I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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