You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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