I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
