Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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