I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
