I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Randomize
