white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
