Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
