people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
